10 Questions to Ask at a School Open Day (That Get Real Answers)
Most parents leave an open day having asked polite questions and received polished answers. The Head was charming, the facilities gleamed, and you learned almost nothing you couldn’t have read on the website.
The fix isn’t asking more questions — it’s asking questions that can’t be answered with marketing. Here are ten that cut through, with what a good answer sounds like and what should make you pause.
1. “What kind of child thrives here — and what kind struggles?”
Why it works: “What’s your ethos?” invites a speech. This question forces the school to describe real children, and honest schools answer it readily: “We’re fast-paced; quiet children can take a term to find their feet” is genuinely useful information delivered in one sentence.
Red flag: “Every child thrives here.” No school is right for every child, and a school that can’t describe who doesn’t suit it either doesn’t know or won’t say.
2. “If my child started struggling in a subject in the first term, what exactly would happen?”
Why it works: It converts an abstract promise (“we support every learner”) into a process. Listen for specifics: how quickly struggles are spotted, who intervenes, whether support costs extra, and how you’d be informed.
Red flag: An answer built entirely around what happens at exam time. Support that only activates near GCSEs is monitoring, not teaching.
3. “What’s your average class size — and what’s the largest class my child could actually end up in?”
Why it works: Schools quote averages for a reason: they’re flattering. A school can average 15 while running A-level classes of 4 and core GCSE maths classes of 24. Asking for the maximum gets you the number that will actually shape your child’s week.
4. “How long do your teachers typically stay — and why do they leave?”
Why it works: Staff turnover is the single most underrated indicator of school health. Teachers vote with their feet, and a school where staff stay ten or fifteen years is telling you something profound about leadership, workload and morale. A school that churns through teachers is too — especially if a subject department has had three heads in five years.
Red flag: Visible surprise at the question, or a pivot to “we recruit very strong replacements.”
5. “Where did last year’s leavers actually go?”
Why it works: Every school publicises its Oxbridge offers. What you want is the whole distribution: how many pupils went to their first-choice destination, what happens to the middle and bottom of the cohort, and what support exists for pupils aiming at apprenticeships, art colleges or universities abroad. Leavers’ destinations for the full year group — not the highlights — reveal who the school really serves.
6. “Beyond the headline fee, what will we actually pay — and how have fees changed recently?”
Why it works: With VAT now applied to independent school fees, affordability is on every parent’s mind — and the fee on the website is rarely the fee you’ll pay. Ask what’s included (lunches, trips, exam entries, learning support, music lessons), what’s extra, and what the annual increase has averaged over the past five years. A school that’s transparent about money is usually transparent about everything else.
Red flag: An admissions team that can’t or won’t give you a realistic all-in annual figure.
7. “How do you handle behaviour — and can you give me a recent example?”
Why it works: Every school has a behaviour policy; few can describe it in action. You’re listening for an approach — restorative, strict, negotiated — and whether it’s applied consistently. Follow up with your child in mind: “My child is chatty and impulsive. How would their first detention-level incident be handled?” The cultural fit between your child’s personality and the school’s discipline style matters more than the policy’s title.
8. “What support exists for SEN or EAL — and is it built into the timetable or bolted on?”
Why it works: The difference between integrated and bolt-on support is the difference between a child who’s supported and a child who’s conspicuous. Ask whether help happens in the classroom or by withdrawal, how many specialist staff there are, and — for international families — whether EAL support is staffed in-house and whether it costs extra. Strong schools answer with named programmes and real examples, not assurances.
9. “What is boarding life actually like on a wet Sunday in November?”
Why it works: For boarding families, especially those overseas, the glossy version of boarding is easy to sell. This question — or any hyper-specific variant — asks about the 90% of boarding life that isn’t chapel, matches and exeat weekends. Ask about weekend activities, homesickness, phone contact, how new international pupils are buddied, and what happens if a child is unhappy at 9pm. Also ask to meet the houseparents, not just the admissions team: they’ll know your child better than anyone.
10. “Can I speak to a current parent — ideally one the school didn’t choose?”
Why it works: Schools will happily connect you with a hand-picked parent ambassador, and that’s fine — ambassador parents are usually honest. But the question itself is the test: a confident school says “talk to anyone here today” or points you to the parents’ association. For international families, ask to be connected with a family from your country or region; many schools maintain informal networks for exactly this.
Red flag: Any hesitation about letting you near unscripted parents or pupils.
One More Tip: Score It Before You Forget It
Ask the same ten questions at every school and note the answers immediately afterwards — by your third open day, the schools will have blurred into one. A simple score out of ten per school, recorded in the car, will be worth more than your memory in March when decisions are due.
The Bottom Line
The best open day questions share one feature: they can’t be answered with a brochure. Ask about real children, real money, real incidents and real numbers, and you’ll leave knowing what a school is — not just what it sells.
And the best way to sharpen your instincts is volume: the more open days you attend, the faster you’ll spot the difference between polish and substance. Register free with School Open Days to see upcoming open days — in-person, virtual and hybrid — at independent schools and colleges across the UK, all in one calendar, with reminders before booking closes. Ten questions. One shortlist. Start here.
